Last year, I chose the focus word Strengthen. Much of 2017, I felt physically weak from a third heart attack. But 2018 was going to be different. I was going to become stronger. Physically. I was going to grow my blog business. Instead the word Strengthen took on a whole new meaning. What has this year taught you? Did life goes as hoped for or even better? I hope that it did in many ways. Perhaps some of it did not. Maybe you had dreams that didn’t happen. However, instead of abandoning our goals or focus word for 2018, we have an opportunity to see what life and God is trying to teach us. So before we step forward into the new year let’s discuss finding inspiration when you don’t achieve your goals!
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Those dreams that didn’t go as exactly as planned, are you supposed to give them up? Or maybe, there is just another road you must travel on the way to your dreams! So what do you do when your year didn’t go exactly as planned?
5 Ways to Find Inspiration When You Don’t Achieve Your Goals
Faced with the death of my Grandpa and last grandparent, the death of my father and huge changes in our life the word Strengthen became more about enduring and strengthening from within. Life as usual didn’t go quite as planned.
Perhaps, I needed to learn more about Strengthen from the point of view of learning what only valleys can teach. We all love the picture of the hero/ heroine overcoming, standing on the mountain top. But isn’t it sometimes traversing the dark places that truly makes us strong and reveals our strength?
How did your goals shift and change? Did your focus word stay true to how you imagined or is there another lesson from this past year to be learned?
Let’s find courage to continue to dare greatly!
Give Yourself Grace for Your Humanity
First realize that you are human. You are going to make mistakes. And life is going to happen! And that is OK. That is even better than OK…it is normal and healthy. We are going to learn from those life events and set-backs and gain a little more clarity for this next year.
Let’s also take a minute to appreciate what did go well or you continued to carry forward. Did you create a new habit? Were you able to continue showing up for yourself in some way.
I created A LOT of business blogging goals for myself last year. And for a while all I could do was focus on what didn’t go right. But then I started actually reading the goals I had written down for myself (another great reason to write down your goals). And I was amazed at all I had accomplished…things that seemed so overwhelming this time last year. PLUS, blogging and writing is a habit now for me! Win!
So don’t forget to give yourself grace AND give yourself a pat on the back for all new healthy habits you created or continued this year.
Learn From the Past Year
Next, we need to learn from the past year. What didn’t work? What went well? What is something you feel good about from this past year?
As I mentioned before, mistakes and failures are normal. What is not healthy is to continue to make those same exact choices that led to those mistakes.
So take a minute and look at the problems, disappointments or conflicts that you had. Do you see any patterns? Were there things out of your control that you need to release?
Did you continue to put yourself out there for a friendship, and it never paid off in anything but pain. Then perhaps this year, instead of trying to double your efforts and just “try harder” you need to release that friendship.
Had you set a goal to keep to your consequences with your tweens and instead it seems like you gave in even more? Why? Do you need to be clearer on your rules or put down consequences that are smaller so you can stick with them better? Perhaps you need to spend 30 minutes creating a list of consequences so you are more prepared for action.
Narrow Your Focus
Up to this point we have given ourselves grace for the things that didn’t go as planned. We have examined the year for any new lessons we need to take forward with us. We have also taken a look at any mistakes or failures that stand out in our mind. And now we are going to FOCUS our attention on one or two of those areas!
Was there an area that kept you feeling frustrated the WHOLE year? Did you swear that you would get your family on a better schedule in the morning? Or that your kids would be more respectful to you?
Sort through and pick a few on which to focus. Remember, we are going to carry for those good habits and keep feeding them. So I’m NOT suggesting you will only have 1 or 2 goals for the whole year, but that you should only have 1 or 2 NEW goals.
Goals take a while to become a habit. To improve your chances of being successful continue working on those habits you consider important and introduce 1 or 2 NEW goals that you want to create a habit around in the new year.
Get clear on where you want your FOCUS to be in the upcoming year. Then craft some specific, attainable goals. And don’t forget to write down what the FIRST step is on working toward your goal!
Find Your Motivation to Achieve Your Goals
Why are you trying to achieve a certain goal? What are you hoping to achieve?
Sometimes we have to revisit our reason for our “why” behind our dreams. First, just check in to make sure that it is a good motivation.
As moms, we have all gotten caught in wanting out kids to obey and be respectful…so WE look good! Ouch! But that is not really a healthy motivation and as our kids get older, the hypocrisy of that motivation will come back to bite us.
However, if we want our kids to listen and follow instructions so that they will be safer, more teachable and develop respectful character then we are motivated by the good of our kid. And that is something worth continuing for which to strive.
Maybe you are in a hard place with one of your kids. I know when my son was younger each year was such a struggle to mold and shape him. Some years, I felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere. But I kept coming back to my long-term desire for him and that helped me to continue to hold my ground with him and to keep trying new consequences. It wasn’t easy but now looking back I can see I was gaining ground little by little!
As You Strive for Your Dreams Remember Your Kids Are Watching
“How would you speak to your friend or one of your kids if they were struggling with this goal?” My mom always likes to remind me to think from a different perspective if I start thinking too “black or white.”
So before you throw in the towel on a goal or think you just can’t do it, what would you say to a friend in the same circumstance? Would you encourage them to release that dream? Or would you give them a fresh perspective.
Maybe you have actually achieved part of your goal, and you need to remember that. Did you get WAY closer to your goal then if you hadn’t tried at all?
What do you want your kids to learn about goals, dreams and intentional living. We may want to teach that if you work hard all your dreams will come true…but is that truly correct?
Wouldn’t it be more accurate to say that hard work does pay off. Sometimes setting goals and hard work leads to the successful outcome we had hoped to achieve. Other times it leads to failures from which we learn and grow. And other times goal slaying leads us to something else that we never even thought about that we love even more!
So as you set goals for 2019 remember to be kind to yourself and take courage to continue to follow your dreams, cause your kids are watching!
5 Ways to Find Inspiration When You Don’t Achieve Your Goals
Have you decided on your FOCUS word for the year? Any new goals or intentions you are setting for the year? Comment and give me a shout out below to let us all know:)