Sometimes, we tell ourselves half-truths for so long its hard to distinguish the truth from a lie. Today we are going to examine 3 lies holding you back from self-care. Most of us are good at “treating” ourselves. However, is that really what your soul craves? Are we calling it self-care when all we are doing is reaching for what is most comfortable or familiar? What is it that you really need today? And are lies holding you back from reaching for it?
3 Lies Holding You Back From Self Care
Lie #1 – My Self Care Should Come after I Take Care of Everything.
Are you waiting to get everything done before you prioritize your well-being? I find a lot of satisfaction in crossing things off my to do list. It’s good to work through the task at hands and not procrastinate, right? Yes, it is a great idea to evaluate what needs to be done at work, in the home or for the kids. However, are you making some things you truly would love “off-limits”?
Are you waiting til all your tasks are finished? Or when the kids are older? Or you are retired?
For me, I find it easy to give myself permission to try a new recipe or sit and watch a show with lunch. But somehow it feels off-limits to sit down and read a book during the middle of the day. Or it feels odd to take a walk when there is so much that needs to be cleaned inside the house.
Who came up with these rules?
Stop and think about what you give yourself permission to do versus the things you have created “off-limits”. Are you truly spending your time how you want? Do you treat yourself to a new phone, but feel like its selfish to plan an evening out without the kids?
Some seasons in life you may have a lot of free time and other seasons you have just a little time. But think about what you would love to have time to do. Is it something that you could actually do now? Today even?
Lie #2 – I Don’t Have Time for Self-Care Right Now.
As I mentioned in an earlier post here, I used to be a flight attendant. As a flight attendant, I constantly told people that in the case of an emergency they needed to put their oxygen mask on first. It’s true! If you try to take care of the person or child next to you first, you will run out of air and pass out. If you put yours on first then you will be able to take care of the other passengers who needs help.
So often I see women go and go and not take time for self-care. It’s a struggle. We worry that all the balls we are juggling will fall if we stop for a minute.
Sometimes, we keep going out of fear and sometimes we keep going out of guilt that we might let someone down.
It can be hard watching someone you love struggle through when it would be so easy to step in and make it all better. But does fixing the problem in the moment make it better in the long run? Will the person you are rescuing really benefit? And will running yourself ragged truly help you or those you care for?
Who doesn’t hate hearing a baby cry, especially if its yours? However, if you run to pick them up every time they cry, the baby may not learn how to calm themselves and go off to sleep on their own. And maybe in that moment you need to step back and take care of yourself for a half an hour. Hiding in the bathroom with the fan on to drown out the noise counts;)
So what stipulations have you put on yourself before you are allowed to make time for you? Is this lie holding yourself back from self-care?
Think on this…
What are your main goals currently? Who is under your care? Are you doing those things that nurture your soul so that you have the creativity and energy to continue?
I have found that our bodies will begin to tell us, often in no uncertain terms, that we need to slow down and practice self-care.
If you have a long list of ailments or seem to continuously be sick, stop and listen. Years ago, when I was working a job I disliked, I began to get headaches, like really bad ones. I pressed on in my practical job because I knew I had to work. Soon, the migraines were joined by panic attacks, something I had never experienced before. A good friend of mine and my mom pointed out that I needed to get out of the job, soon! It was a horrible fit for me, and I needed to make a decision to leave before it was made for me.
Lie #3 My Family or Spouse Should Just Know What I Need.
A friend and I were discussing this a few months back. For her, it was a struggle to ask for what she needed, hoping loved ones would “know” what she wanted. I realized that I don’t have trouble asking for what I want, but I do struggle to be specific and put it into action.
Do you feel held back, like you are waiting for permission to take time for you? Do you complain that you need some time “off”, but then stall there waiting for others to make it happen?
Taking responsibility for our feelings and emotions is healthy. So ponder on what it is that you specifically need. Do you need a small break each day, time to have coffee with a friend once a week, a date night out with your hubby or a different job that energizes you? Perhaps you have been struggling with depression or anxiety and what you really need is a support group or a wise counselor to talk to about it. I know that it can be a struggle to seek out what you truly need, but isn’t it time?
So this week look at the 3 lies holding you back from self-care. Do you tell yourself any of these lie? In what small way are you going to take care of yourself this week?
Miranda, this post is spot on! I’m most often guilty of #1, but at other times in my life I’ve believed the other two. It has become easier to spot when I’m stuck in a rut, believing that I can’t take care of myself until my list of tasks are completed. I try to give myself little rewards between finishing everything I feel I need to do. It really has made a difference! But sometimes I’m just so focused on getting things done that I forget to take a break for myself. Thanks for the reminder:)
Me too! I keep thinking I just need to get one more thing done! Yes, it is a great idea to use little rewards. It keeps me motivated and reminds me to take care of myself as well as my family.
Yes! Must get back to date nights and not make so many excuses for things I want to do (but don’t) because the truth is that I feel guilty. (Example- feel guilty when our child is with a baby sitter to have a date night… but shouldn’t!). Thanks for the reminders!
Misty, Yes, date night is so important. I know it was a struggle for me to leave the kids when they were younger! Now, I can see that date night was one of the best things we could have done for our family. We are investing in the health of our whole family when we make time to reconnect with our spouse.