Are you an extrovert or introvert? Personality is a funny thing. Whether you are raising children or puppies, you will see glimpses of personalities very early. When it comes to developing a vibrant life, a key is to understand your own personality. As we appreciate our differences, we are more likely to take our emotional and mental needs seriously, leading to even better health!
Most people have heard the terms extrovert and introvert, but often there are misconceptions surrounding them. Understanding if you are an extrovert or introvert is of pivotal importance. So let’s clear up some of those myths.
Before we get started, remember that though you will typically fall into one category or the other, there are a a wide varieties of extroverts and introverts. So you can be anywhere on the spectrum from extreme extrovert to extreme introvert.
Are You an Extrovert or Introvert?
One of the biggest ways to discover if you are an extrovert or introvert is to understand what recharges you. Both extroverts and introverts enjoy being around people. I have heard people in the groups I teach state that they must be an extrovert because they enjoy being with friends. Both personality types appreciate some friend time.
However, the key is to look at what recharges you? When you feel worn down do you tend to just want to be with your closer friends (extrovert) or do you want to spend some time alone (introvert)? Introverts treasure those quiet times when they can just be alone with their thoughts. If you are an introvert it is pivotal that you take this need seriously and allow yourself time to shut down.
When we were raising our puppies, I quickly noticed that Diana liked a little alone time. She enjoyed playing with her siblings and being held, but sometimes she separated herself to get a little quiet time! Typical introvert! Meanwhile, Max (extrovert) loved to see how many of his siblings he could be touching (or sleeping on) during his nap time!
Examining your friend group is another clue to if you are an extrovert or introvert? Do you love making new friends and find being among a new group of people stimulating and fun? Then you are definitely leaning toward the extrovert side. Do you enjoy being around lots of friends? Is is relaxing to you to hang out all day with your friends or have them over to your place? Again these all show a bent toward the extrovert side of the spectrum.
Or do you prefer to have one on one interactions? Would you choose meeting a friend or two for coffee over an hour on Facebook any day? Then you have more introvert tendencies.
When I was a flight attendant, I often found it challenging serving plane full after plane full of people who were complete strangers. If I knew and enjoyed the flight crew I was working with, I was OK. But the days I worked with a flight crew I didn’t know, I felt so disconnected. I was around strangers all day, so by the end of the day I couldn’t wait to get to my hotel room and shut the door! While I did find it exciting to meet new people and go different places, I enjoy teaching the smaller groups I facilitate now. I have the opportunity to get to know people on a deeper level over a series of weeks.
3.Stimulation versus Deliberation
This is a new category to me, but it makes perfect sense so I wanted to share it. While I was doing a little research for this article I came across The Quiet Leadership Institute and Scott Barry Kaufman’s of the University of Pennsylvania ideas. Their research shows that extroverts prefers stimulation while introverts prefer deliberation! Light bulb moment!
Extroverts enjoy the “stimulation” of meeting new people and having opportunities to discuss their ideas. This energizes them and extroverts crave those times. Extroverts enjoy jumping into new ideas or creating plans. Introverts enjoy solitude and quiet moments to reflect and “deliberate”. Introverts want to mull over their plans before jumping into them. Too much stimulation can be draining, and introverts will often desire to withdraw later to think.
Do you have a loved one that is an Extrovert?
Your extrovert will enjoy spending time with you so if you are an introvert you may need to mentally schedule them into your day! And when you go on a vacation, don’t plan to relax the whole time as your extrovert will soon be craving the opportunity to go and experience something new!
Are you and your partner struggling to connect and overcome your differences? Consider some of these solutions to arguments couple have in this helpful post on couple’s counseling here. Also learn how couple’s counseling may work for you.
Remember that your extrovert is often very private. As much as they enjoy being around other people and often make “friends” quickly they may only share their inner thoughts with a few. So if you are one of those few, be careful to treasure those moments when they open their heart to you.
Do you have a loved one that is an Introvert?
You can deeply connect with your introvert by giving them one on one time or even allowing them to just go off for some recharging solitude.
Their home is often a sanctuary to them so provide them space and time to be in their sanctuary without others. If you are raising an introvert (as an extrovert) don’t worry if they only have a friend or two. While having lots of friends may suit your style, introverts enjoy just a close friend or two.
So do you think you are an introvert or an extrovert? Do you have a special way that you show love to the extrovert or introvert in your life? I would love to hear about it below in the comments:)
What to know more about your goal setting style? Read more here
Heather Bee says
Oh, Miranda, this is so enlightening! Have you read the book “Being an Introvert in a World That Won’t Stop Talking”? It really opened my eyes to understanding my introverted nature, how the world views and treats introverts versus extroverts, and the strengths and weaknesses of each. You are so right about home being a sanctuary and the need to recharge.
It must be a great book, as several people have recommended it! I think I will add that to my reading list. Thanks!
This is all so true! I think people get confused with the meanings of “extrovert” and “introvert” and automatically think it means you’re either “happy and love people” or “shy and hate people.” Thanks for shining a light on the truth and subtly putting a word in for us introverts 😉 We do love people we just need some time away from them! haha
Vanessa, thanks for reading! Ha, that is so true that introverts love their friends and family but also treasure their alone time, too:)!
Yes! I love people, but also love some quiet time 🙂
Caroline, I totally relate!